beeinmybonnet | Fanart: "Scientifically Sound Explanation Is Optional"

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Fanart: "Scientifically Sound Explanation Is Optional"

Title: Scientifically Sound Explanation Is Optional
Characters/Pairings: Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Portrait, Pencil; Illustration
Rating: G
Medium: Graphite drawing; retouched in Photoshop Elements 5.0

Disclaimer: This is a transformative work of art based on Guy Ritchie's adaptation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's original stories.

Full size: 724x849

If there is one thing Watson is certain of at this very moment, it's that there must be a scientifically sound explanation for this.

Probably. Possibly.

No. There definitely is a scientifically sound explanation, and Watson is convinced that if Holmes hadn't just turned into a child, he'd be evaluating the facts already, developing theories.
—A Silly Phase

Have you read

zarah5's A Silly Phase? No? Then toddle off and read it. Take it from someone who is iffy about both kid!fics and spontaneous-metamorphosis!fics — it's that good.

As for my drawing, I know it's bit off, but I don't draw children very often. (I think the last time was... what, two years ago? Anyways.) Also, what is it with Wikipedia and having no information whatsoever on children's fashion during the 1880's?
Reference used ad nauseam. The model? Well... take a guess.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Why doesn't there exist an AU in which Holmes' genius is leaning towards the criminal side of things?! No one would ever stand a chance of catching him! Not unless he wanted them to catch him, that is...

There are half a dozen AU snippets on the kink meme where Holmes is a criminal, and part of me is certain there should be, somewhere, an epic AU that goes that way, however I have not yet come across it.

Watson could be the particularly cruel doctor-sidekick, who knows how to kill people quickly, or torture them as slowly as possible. Or perhaps the doctor-turned-detective trying to track him down, and there could be fo-yay.

You know how I flailed so madly about the lack of movieverse bodice-ripper!fics? Well, now I flail just as madly for epic crime!AUs. WHERE ARE THEY?

Ffffff. Yes. Why not both? :D

Oh, I can just imagine it. Holmes did help the police in his early twenties but then grew so bored with it he decided to try his luck in the criminal career. Which... he excelled in and is now the most wanted criminal in Britain. He doesn't have a gang because he doesn't play well with others, but he has icily civil meetings with Moriarty over possibly poison-laced tea. Oh, and he has his own personal army of juvenile pickpocketers.
And for some reason or other, Watson gets dragged into this mess, and it starts out foe-yaytastic but at some point he starts working with Holmes? ~~Come on, help me develop this idea, you're so good at this! ♥~~

YOU.

You are dragging me into this and why am I not resisting? This proves it, you know. You are Holmes, and somewhere along the line I have become the incredibly whipped Watson who hangs on to your every suggestion. I should be more concerned over this.

Ok so, yes. Poison-laced tea and crumpets with Moriarty. Oooh and, Watson starts out as a sort of genius coroner who solves crime in his spare time (have you seen Diagnosis: Murder? It would be like that). And then Holmes goes off on his crime spree, and whilst everyone knows it's him because he doesn't even try to hide it, there's never enough evidence and they'd never actually catch him anyway. Cue brother Mycroft (as played by Stephen Fry, in my mind) who is helping our intrepid doctor track Sherlock down but in his usual lazy way where he just sits around at his club and points out obscure little things as though they are the most obvious thing in the world in that MOST INFURIATING way that Holmes does but a hundred times worse. Watson is so absorbed by the case that his fiancee, Mary Morstan, leaves him because all they ever talk about is Holmes (perhaps with a scathing parting remark the Victorian equivalent of "If you like him so much, why don't you just marry him?" - I love Mary, just not when she is in the way of my boys).

Then Holmes kidnaps Watson, because he gets too close and at first Watson is like D:< but then he slowly realises that Holmes is amazing and whilst Holmes only kidnapped the good doctor to get him out of the way, he starts questioning himself as to why he can't kill him and then he realises it's because he respects him a lot. However I would have difficulty extracting Watson from proper British morality so it may have to end with grudging respect and UST. And MUCH FOE-YAY.

I don't even like AU's :(

The fact that you aren't more concerned only provides further proof that you are becoming Watson. ♥ Wanna know a secret? I'm just as whipped as you are, you just don't know it yet.

Yes. Watson's this upstanding British gentleman with a fiancée and respectable doctor-y work, and life is going splendid. Then Holmes commits a crime which for some reason catches Watson's attention, and then he's lost. Lost. Have you seen Zodiac? That kind of lost; he becomes obsessed with this self-assured, so-called gentleman thief Sherlock Holmes. (Just like

zarah5 said.) He even seeks out Fry!Mycroft* and demands his co-operation. Watson drives everyone around him insane, from his long-suffering landlady Mrs Hudson to Inspector G Lestrade whom he just won't stop badger.

The kidnapping would be somewhat unplanned, though? Like, Watson has finally figured out enough to be at the right place at the right time, and Holmes sort of steal him as well for convenience's sake? And then everything turn Beauty & The Beast with Holmes keeping Watson prisoner and Watson being "Go to hell!" but at the same time so. Very. Curious. And Holmes is being he's most charming and fascinating and Watson is just a bit disconcerted by the fact that he stares at Holmes' chest a bit too much. And Holmes teaches Watson the science of crime and eventually drags Watson along on a "case". Watson protests vehemently but then learns that the thrill of theft is absolutely intoxicating and the gambler he thought he had buried long ago resurfaces in him.
~~All right, your turn. ::hands over baton::~~
* = I might just love you a little more for this. ♥

I'm not that fond of AUs either! :D
~~I might just be working on a mock-film poster for this. Might.~~

&hearts

Oh, I want this. Why doesn't this exist yet? Like, right now, right here, on my screen?

Because... Actually, I have no good reason for this. Why doesn't it exist?

I'm signing on to this project by offering ideas and very possibly illustrate it. Any takers? ♥ ~~Bribery is an underrated art form.~~

I am tempted, oh. TEMPTED!!! But on the other hand, I think

ladylovelace's got it covered, and I currently very much have other epic fic on my plate, in which Holmes has gone missing and Mary died - and as it turns out, the accident was arranged by Moriarty, to lure Holmes back to Watson and England. And Watson is back to gambling and Holmes is back to drugs, and for all that they don't care about their own well-being, they very much care about the well-being of each other, so they turn to sex as a means to let off steam. And then the sex becomes more. And there's also Moriarty.

And, um. What was I trying to say?

Right. The above story is eating away at my agenda, so, uh. While I want to, I think this is better left to others. ~~Then again, epic addiction fic should be done in time to give me a shot at writing Big Bang.~~

Yes, I read about that when I stalked your journal! :D Please, leave this mutating plot-bunny in my and

ladylovelace's hands ~~though you are of course more than welcome to contribute~~ and we'll do the best we can. Because your fic needs to be written and nothing should come in its way!

~~See how nice I am, speaking for someone else without their explicit consent. ♥~~

You were stalking my journal? *g*

And ugh, yes. It's at 20'000 words by now? I currently keep dragging this sex scene out because I am bad at writing sex! Or at least, I moan and groan about it like a petulant child.

I could serve as a sounding board, if the two of you want something like that! I'm good at being a sounding board; just don't ask me about grammar.

I hate to interrupt but I can hardly fathom why you should think that drawn out sex scenes were a bad thing.

Also I am intrigued by the premise of your fic and await it with bated breath.

I am not completely convinced this fandom needs... so far about 2000 words of Watson tentatively figuring out how to fuck a man while Holmes tells him he isn't made of china. This story is not even a pwp, dammit! There is no actual need of prolonged sex scenes! I was doing fine with the first three, I was!

*sighs*

I'm going to guess that you're not upset about stalking, so I plead guilty as charged. ♥

20,000 words? Already? That's awesome! \o/ I can't wait to read it! (Oh, and don't worry about long sex scenes; they build ~atmosphere~. ~~Tee-hee, you said "moan and groan"!~~)

Don't be surprised if we take you up on that offer. As soon as this monster plot bunny stops growing with the speed of light, I'll let you know. ♥

Have I seen Zodiac? Have I heck. But I must admit I was thinking obsessive like the way Dr. Van Helsing is obsessive over Dracula. Although I suppose the difference isn't that great. EITHER WAY yes. Unhealthy obsession with Holmes to the complete detriment of his job and his home and his friends.

It is funny you mention Beauty and The Beast because that is exactly what it was reminding me of. ~~Perhaps complete with a musical number involving a teapot? "There may be something there that wasn't there before..."~~.

I was assuming, of course, that Watson is being kept naked, because Holmes in his brilliantly deranged sort of logic figures that it is much harder to escape if you have no clothing. I'm not sure why that seems important but I am having thoughts about some seriously awkward moments. And Watson angsting about being naked, because I do love a spot of Watson angst.

And part of me wants a moment in which Holmes suddenly realises that it has been three days and he really ought to feed Watson before he drops dead. Simply because it hadn't occured to him that people who are not him need to eat ocassionally. And Watson is grateful but a little weirded out. I want creepy care-taking.

And I want a "you could do so much good, Holmes", "you could have so much power over those mere mortals, my dear Watson" conversation.

I am not sure why dark!Holmes is doing so much for me, but he so is.

You have, of course, given me the answer - there is a dark side to Watson's personality which could easily be played up and manipulated and maybe they could come out the other side as the fabulously brilliant overlords of the world. It would be easy enough to become addicted to things other than gambling, if one is already in possession of an addictive personality.

I suspect once I am done with the bodice-ripper (which is turning out far more serious than I thought it would), I can just tell I am going to start on this. Damn you Holmes.

_{:D I love Stephen Fry much more than I should}

~~RDJ is so sizzling hot in Zodiac. UNF.~~

I've kept count on the times it turn out we're thinking the same thing. The number is, frankly, a bit scary. ~~Violin serenading. We need violin serenading. Singing Baker Street Irregulars are optional.~~

That... makes sense and would be so awesome. Though I still think some piece of clothing should be present. Holmes would probably be considerate enough to allow Watson some modesty, but "eccentric genius"-y enough to not realise that a tiny scrap of fabric isn't going to make a lot of difference.

YES. YES, AND A THOUSAND TIMES YES. Creepy care-taking, oh, my latent dark kink is wreaking havoc at the moment. The whole fic should be like this. Like, a definite tone of creepiness throughout the whole story, and it should damn well end with Holmes and Watson being crime lords. Morality and sensibilites be damned; I want a fic where borderline deranged people do borderline insane things and everything is not "fixed" in the last minute and everyone learn their lesson.

::melts:: Oh, oh, yes, please, a "join ~~the dark side~~ me" speech must be in it. With gratuitous reference to RDJ's husky, dark chocolate voice and asjassjlkjsfljdlfjgjigjdl (I also propose an unhealthy abundance of handcuffs!kink, possibly even subtle gunplay?)

Because he's sexy. Let's be honest, okay? :D

... Actually, dark!Watson isn't that bad either. Unf, yes, Holmes lures that hidden side of him out into the open, and loves it, and Watson is basically high all the time on different hormones. That's also how the sexing happens? Like, after a particularly excellent "case", they sort of just fall into bed together? Or do we have a more... sinister twist to it?

(I think the only thing I balk at is murder and non-con. Beating people into a pulp on a regular basis, sure thing, but not murder. Holmes' moral compass isn't that wonky. Unless... Well, if Watson were to get hurt, Holmes might not be held responsible for his action, perhaps? [No non-con because I hate it, simple as that.])

YOU ARE WRITING THE BODICE-RIPPER? OH MY GOD, I LOVE YOU LIKE I LOVE CHOCOLATE! ♥ Awesome. (Seriousness is not a bad thing! :D)
My dear Watson, you can hardly blame me for everything. I merely showed you how to look at this from another angle; where that complex tangle that is your mind takes you from there, I cannot be held responsible for.

Stephen Fry is made of Awesome. :D

Perhaps I will allow Watson his underwear. Or a blanket which he can cower under and then be oddly comforted by Holmes' violin playing. And I have just decided that said handcuffs will be really, really good quality. Holmes made them himself and even he can't escape from them so there's no real point in trying, Watson.

I like that. That Watson would be so totally high and flushed with sucess that he just turns around and starts kissing and groping and since Holmes is already operating well outside the law, he's like "what the hell, Watson is pretty and this might bring him closer to really being on my side and if everyone consents and gets off why do I care?"

I am trying to decided whether that is more or less healthy than some variation on Stockholm syndrome. I suspect Watson actually giving up the law for the promise of power would be more healthy than fooling himself into liking his captor, so I shall go with the first. I would like to keep Watson's mind intact.

Of course I am writing the bodice-ripper. Although at this point I can promise only crossdressing and actual ripping of an actual bodice which is on Watson's person. Rather more literal than usual but I suspect it will be acceptable all the same.

Oh but I can blame you, Holmes. The 'complex tangle' is of your own creation, I am merely the poor soul tasked with being your chronicler, and, for reasons which ocassionally escape me, friend.

You are aware that you've just set up a too-perfect-to-ignore scenario where Watson handcuffs Holmes, right? Perhaps that happens early in their, er, acquaintance, when Watson still imagines he is a law-abiding citizen. (A situation which Holmes, naturally, converse himself out of.)

Well, if your already near-high and have your object of unresovled sexual tension and affection right beside you, why not start to snog like teenagers? ("Well, I'm already a criminal, what's another criminal offence?" [Actually, this sort of makes me want a scene near the end of the fic, where Holmes and Watson perform a coup of some kind and let Lestrade et al see them but not catch them--you know, that old mocking trick--and then top it off with briefly kissing each other just as an extra fuck-you. Gods, my brain.]) Though I suspect Holmes would be a bit less detached? I mean, Watson gets obsessed with Holmes because Holmes is BRILLIANT and a GENIUS and FASCINATING. Perhaps Holmes gets obsessed with Watson because Watson is INTRIGUING and HE JUST CAN'T FIGURE HIM OUT? So, mutual obsession. ~~Ooh, we're really entering the realm of dark and twisted here, aren't we? ♥~~

You started to think of Stockholm Syndrome as well? ♥ Why can't we be completely immoral and depraved and make this a really creepy and twisted story about liberation? Like, rather than it being about poor Watson being manipulated by his evil captor Holmes, it's a story about Holmes showing Watson a better kind of life where he doesn't have to deny himself and he can be truly happy. Because that is what I want. Watson being alive and happy together with Holmes... while regularly beating people into a pulp and commiting crimes. ~~Me? Twisted? What makes you think that? :D~~

IT IS VERY MUCH ACCEPTABLE! As long as it involves corsets and flangst, I'm more than satisfied. ♥

By the way, what would the fic be titled? I've spent the last couple of hours thinking about it, but I can't come up with anything more innovative than "Crimes of Passion". ~~::glances at mock-poster outline::~~

You wound me, my dear fellow. You wound me deeply indeed. You are so much more to me than merely my chronicler and "most of the time friend". You are the one whom I share quarters with, whom I borrow clothes from, who disturb me in my work for such negligible matters as food and sleep, whom I can talk to. Believe me, had you merely been my chronicler, I'd have you tossed out on the street years ago.

I had not thought of the reverse but am now certain it needs to happen. And then Watson is like "I have you at my mercy...uh...I haven't really thought past that point, actually." and then Holmes being the smug bitch he is is like "Watson, I have your blanket and unless you are going to strip me and steal my clothing, which could end in your demise, depending on my mood, you cannot go into the street naked and wander around, since there are two feet of snow out there." Watson then proceeds to rage impotently, possibly break some furniture and then Holmes proves himself to be a lying liar who lies and breaks out of the cuffs. At which point creepy soothing takes place.

Lewd mocking is in. No question. I do not mean for Holmes to be indifferent as such, merely not worried that he is OMG BREAKING THE LAW, because, well, he's been there before. He is of course very into Watson (though possibly disbelieving that sex would ever happen) as the one person likely to bring him down.

Ok so now I am thinking that perhaps this needs to take on the stance of a slightly alternative actual history - in which the whole government is seriously corrupt and Holmes can see this and is trying to bring them down, but since he can't go to the law he has to work outside it. And Watson, being the loyal son of England and stout military man that he is, also cannot see it but eventually Holmes proves it to him and then he decides it is better to rebel against the lie than allow the country to sink into a mire of corruption. BONUS Holmes brings him around to the idea of ruling England together to save her from herself. Actually come to think history need not be that alternative for this.

Surely it is obvious that I am useless with titles? I have the first 5 parts of a WIP done without publishing any of them because I cannot think of a title for the whole thing. Titles, it could be said, are not my forte.

Oh. *is stunned into adoring silence*.

Wait. What do you mean tossed me out - we split the rent evenly!

asjkaldajsfhdjkf YES. YES, FUCK YES. That needs to happen! And I propose the creepy soothing includes hair-petting and hushing, though strangely non-sexual, seeing Watson's naked/near naked and Holmes was tied up with handcuffs just a few seconds ago. And poor Watson being so confused and not knowing whether he should accept the comfort or punch Holmes in the face.

Actually come to think history need not be that alternative for this.
Oooh, burn. ♥

I think that could work. I mean, if it's more like "Well, the government sucks, so we might actually do more good breaking the law than abiding to it, so who cares?" rather than Holmes and Watson turning into Underground Heroes and saving the day.
But one point I'm standing firm on is that Lestrade must be the decent man he is. He might work for a corrupt government, but he cannot be a crooked cop. If he is, then I will weep.

Also! To return to a previous topic, the one regarding why the hell Watson would turn into a criminal. I think it wouldn't be that hard to manage. I mean, after Watson came home from the war, his self-esteem and confidence must have been shot to hell. Not only was that particular war a failure, IIRC, but also he's an ~invalid~. And since he didn't have a batshit crazy co-hab to nurse him back to health, he should still have the same self-esteem as your average teenager. Then this amazing, fascinating and oh-so-cool rogue turns up and shows you that you're actually not helpless, but not only that, he offers you power as well. Sad psychology, yes, but somewhat plausible all the same?

Oh, really, do you now? A WIP? ~~::grabby hands::~~

Again, also, there are other points I want to bring up! First, I have two questions:
A) Who would play Moriarty?
and
B) Does Irene Adler show up as a non-love interest?
Then, I want to ask you if you've heard Welcome to Rapture (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEFIZh_Zscc)? Because I'm just a teeny bit obsessed and monomaniac and certainly didn't spend last night looking for music that fit. But I really like the feeling you get by this song; it's exactly how I imagine the fic would be like. Your opinion? :D

Well, really, old boy, who found these quarters in the first place? I'm sure I could manage the rent on my own, if I must. Not that I have any inclanation to, so don't get any ideas, my dear.

I am all for creepy hair petting and confused Watson.

Ok, so, I am beginning to get a picture of how this is going to happen - Holmes is a bit of flaming loon (nothing new there), criminal in need of a sidekick. Having eliminated everyone else in all of London as not right, he picks out John Watson, who gets a lot of his work from the police. 'cause he's awesome. This is why Watson knows Lestrade, and why, when Holmes starts leaving him stuff, that he knows to go to Mycroft.

In the mean time, Watson is living his normal life as an exceptional physician but one without the funds for a particularly sucessful practice, a financee who he loves, in his way, but is not exactly head over heels for - Mary is a charming woman, but Watson knows that two people getting married should 'click', and they simply don't. He intends to go through with it, though. He can be content, and since the war he feels no need to actively pursue women - they met by chance and sort of fell in together, I imagine. He is, however, not thrilled with his life and finds most of his fun in the bits of criminal cases he gets to hear about from his buddy Lestrade. Either way, he lives his little life, but he is far from happy with it. He becomes obsessed when Holmes first sends him a note about a crime he has commited (the note sounds oddly like the man is looking for approval, which is absurd)

So, along comes Sherlock Holmes, who for reasons known only to his brilliant mind, has decided that it's John Watson or bust. I wonder if perhaps such an important undertaking could merit a trip to the country, or if the capture and rehabilitation (to the dark side, naturally) should take place in London and Holmes is so damned clever that no-one will ever find him anyway.

At first, Watson is Not Happy. I think perhaps I will have him turn up at Baker Street, having been so obsessed with the man for so long he finally realises that Holmes must maintain a base there (he does have *some* deducitive skills, after all, and Holmes is a cocky bitch). Turn up as Holmes is there, perhaps having deliberately led him?

Either way, his imprisonment goes on and Holmes has never been cruel to him, certainly on purpose, anyway, because he really wants Watson to like him. There is creepy comforting and brilliant displays of intellect and an awful lot of violin playing. Eventually Watson is like "wow, this guy is awesome and he picked me *starry eyed adoration*" and they start off their life of crime together, which culminates in lewd taunting of the police and victory sex.

Hmm, Moriarty. I'm really not sure, since I always see this guy (http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/memoryalpha/en/images/4/41/James_Moriarty.jpg) (Daniel Davis) as him, because I am a trekkie (*le gasp*) and Data's holosuite program is actually my first experience of Sherlock Holmes :/.

Irene should really be there, shouldn't she. Perhaps they can both be going after the same prize on the same night and there can be Irene going "I see you've picked yourself a pretty little sidekick" and Holmes can be like "you're just jealous Irene, also Watson is mine, back off". If you have a better idea of how to accomplish Irene participation, I am all ears.

That song is brilliant is has action and melancholy and a violin. (Also weird because I can hear my brother playing Bioshock upstairs).

Oh yes? And whose stable income allowed you to take them on, hmm? You are sucessful now, Holmes, but that wasn't always the way of things, was it?

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