Bee In My Bonnet

 
[Rated R: for nudity and explicit discussion of sex and sexuality]


Merfolk
And Their Reproductive System
An Illustrated Guide To (Almost) Plausible Mermaid Porn

Oh, come on, don’t tell me you aren’t at least curious.

Everyone knows about the Mermaid Problem, right? A normal, sane and boring person would probably say that it doesn’t matter, because a mermaid is part fish, and who wants to have sex with that anyway? But if there’s one thing fandom has taught me, it’s that nothing can or should come in the way of porn. Therefore, I hereby present you a possible solution to this so-called problem.

Note/Disclaimer:
For my research, I have used this and this as reference for outer appearances; for anatomical reference, I used my skills at Google-Fu, Wikipedia and a plethora of books on aquarium fishes. I should probably mention that all I know about biology is what I learnt from watching Animal Planet when I was younger, but I think it’s plausible. Otherwise, I play the “Mermaids are fantasy creatures!” card to get out of jail.
(If you have a better/more plausible/more interesting idea about mermaids and how they reproduce, I’d love to hear about it!)


( "Click for mermaids and porn." )

It’s actually kind of fascinating how closely connected the memory is to the senses of smell and taste. For example, the smell of dried nail varnish reminds me of Marvel Comics and Iron Man in particular, because the time when I was the most obsessed by them coincided with when I started to paint my nails on a regular basis. The taste of Pepsi reminds me of Sherlock Holmes, since I started to buy it just before I went to the cinema, because I wanted something ~special~ to drink then. Cardamom reminds me of manga, because I was nuts about cardamom buns when I was twelve. And then there’s the soap in the bathroom downstairs, which drives me insane because it reminds me of something that I can’t put my finger on.

Why, yes, I am currently sleep-deprived. How are you all doing?

Ohmygod, I’m going to see Iron Man 2 this evening, Icanbarelycontainmyexcitement, I’ll even wear my cutest skirt!

So, I had to drop out of holmes_big_bang because real life is a bitch and school hates me, but that doesn't mean I can't amuse myself in other ways. So what do I do? I sit down and write an essay on Sherlock Holmes and Asperger's Syndrome, that's what I do. WTF, self?

I haven't even written a fifth of what's planned, either, and I'm already at +3000 words. By Jove.

ALSO. I'm turning eighteen this Friday, which means I will, hopefully, have a Paid Account by Saturday! :D

GUYS, GUYS, IRON MAN 2 WILL BE RELEASED APRIL 28 IN SWEDEN! TONY~♥