Fanart: "Scientifically Sound Explanation Is Optional"

[beeinmybonnet]

Title: Scientifically Sound Explanation Is Optional
Characters/Pairings: Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Portrait, Pencil; Illustration
Rating: G
Medium: Graphite drawing; retouched in Photoshop Elements 5.0

Disclaimer: This is a transformative work of art based on Guy Ritchie's adaptation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's original stories.



Full size: 724x849

If there is one thing Watson is certain of at this very moment, it's that there must be a scientifically sound explanation for this.

Probably. Possibly.

No. There definitely is a scientifically sound explanation, and Watson is convinced that if Holmes hadn't just turned into a child, he'd be evaluating the facts already, developing theories.

—A Silly Phase

Have you read zarah5's A Silly Phase? No? Then toddle off and read it. Take it from someone who is iffy about both kid!fics and spontaneous-metamorphosis!fics — it's that good.

As for my drawing, I know it's bit off, but I don't draw children very often. (I think the last time was... what, two years ago? Anyways.) Also, what is it with Wikipedia and having no information whatsoever on children's fashion during the 1880's?
Reference used ad nauseam. The model? Well... take a guess.

Comments

[beeinmybonnet.livejournal.com]

Yes, exactly, Holmes commits crimes that will prove a challenge. I bet he even anonymously tips the police off before he pulls off a coup. "Dear Scotland Yard: I'm planning to steal the Crown jewels this Friday 22:00. Love, Me."
(I read an essay once about the "Holmes was Jack the Ripper" theory. It... sort of doesn't add up, if you ask me.)

ajhaskdjsfhd That dialogue YES. YES. Exactly like that!

All right, I wasn't going to mention this, but then you had to do a Watson=addict comparison. Remember that I spent last night browsing music? Well, I came across a grunge rock cover of "Toxic" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8XK0AZZlug), and, well. I don't know if I should laugh or cry, because apparently the immortal words of Britney Spears sum up my conception of AU!Watson perfectly. ::facepalm::
Hey, this is why bandying ideas is such a brilliant thing! :D We come up with different things, and we tweak them together. ♥

It's an internet rumour that's been fleeting around for a while. I only hope they're wrong! D: I've also heard whispers about Hugh Laurie playing Mariarty, though, which I have nothing at all against, if nothing else because then I can imagine an EPIC scene where Laurie!Moriarty, RDJ!Holmes and Fry!Mycroft match wit with each other and the screen implodes from sheer awesome. (Why do people find Brad Pitt sexy? I've never thought that. Neither do I think Orlando Bloom. Also, I'm afraid I can't take Mr. Pitt seriously, because his last name means "dick" in Swedish.)

Yes! The Gregson&Lestrade comparison is perfect. Maybe she could be something of a behind the scenes figure? Like, a while into the whole Beauty&theBeast situation, Holmes gets in a huff, and when Watson cautiously asks what's wrong, Holmes vents and rants a little about That Woman. Which just foreshadows and builds up to Watson's GRRRRR-behaviour towards Irene when they finally meet. (Threeway bickering FTMFW!)

Camera on shoulder! That's the expression I was looking for! Wasn't it I who use it in the first place? Gods, fail, much?

Also, I've been thinking about this obsessively, but I'm feeling self-indulgent and hey, we already have creepy comfort/care-taking and handcuffs, why not throw more kink into this story? I want at least one instance where Holmes has some kind of seductive Join Me-speech, where he--in his particular creepy-cute way--sort of helps Watson rebuild his self-confidence by telling him how wonderful he is. Preferably this happens when Watson is still in his "FUCK YOU, HOLMES!" period.

And another question! What do we do with Mary? Lestrade will remain as a secondary character throughout the fic since he is the Token Policeman, but what about Mary? After she leaves Watson, what then? Do Watson and Holmes break into her home and steal something utterly worthless knick-knack just for the fun of it and to mess with her head? Does Watson have to fib his way out while Holmes hides himself from Mary's view, and they enjoy every minute of it?

I'm a recreational user, as you are very well aware. And really, my boy, you always have exaggerate the side-effects of cocaine.
Oh, I know, and I confess it gives me a feeling of satisfaction to see you wearing my clothing. Although I think Mrs Hudson may have come to notice it as well. What do you say, Watson, ought we to worry?

[ladylovelace.livejournal.com]

I love to death the idea of Holmes sending the police notes. (I cannot quite accept the notion of Holmes as Jack the Ripper - I could accept Watson (http://pics.livejournal.com/warren_ellis/pic/00003y1a) as such, though. I really do think he has an untouched violent streak, the more I think about it.)

I am very nearly certain that there was a H/W fanvid to that song at some point. Or a request for one. Or it may have been on a fanmix. EITHER WAY YES. I think it is fairly hilarious to even put Watson and Britney Spears in the same paragraph, but it does rather work in this context and continues to convince me that the disparity beween at least movie!Watson and AU!Watson is not as great as I first thought. Hmm.

I looked the sequel up on IMDB and it does seem to say that he will be :(. I sincerely hope it is unfounded rumour (Hell, Jude Law isn't even on the page and he kinda should be, being Watson and everything. Although now I am thinking it would be hilarious (if a little sad) if they replaced him with someone completely different, and didn't even try to explain it. I am warped).

I love the idea of Holmes telling his new very best buddy (possibly just as Watson is starting to come around) about the horrible Woman and how much of a big ol' meany she is to poor little Holmes. And then three-way snark, obviously, because it is required.

At least one "come to the dark side, we have cookies" speech, "You could be so brilliant Watson [insert creepy face-holding], between the two of us we could bring England to her knees" at which point Watson glares and Holmes is just a little put-out by it.

The thing about Mary (in my mind) is that she is conspicous only in her absence - I have very little to base her on and thus hesitate to have her wander around. BUT that idea is not a bad one, or, y'know how Irene said she should pick herself up a sidekick, when they were snarking over Watson? What about a little moment at the end where she does and it turns out to be Mary. Except I can think of no plausible reason for this because by all accounts Mary is a fairly ordinary, boring governess. I dunno, I liked film Mary well enough but she always felt like she had no purpose except as a "no gay here" sign. But I will shut up about her.

You're right, cardiac arrest is surely only a minor inconvenience for the great Sherlock Holmes, who is quite incapable of ever making a mistake. And I should think that nothing surprises Mrs. Hudson anymore, bless her soul. She is as observant as you are and more humble to boot.

[beeinmybonnet.livejournal.com]

All right, another thing to add to the list. ♥ (No, don't go there, one AU at the time, okay? I'm afraid I cannot accept Watson murdering, though. Beating people up because they deserve it, on the other hand -- hell yeah, bring on the cane!)

It was a fanmix. It fits scarily well, doesn't it, even if it's sacrilege?
The only differences between movieverse and our AU is that our version is a bit darker a lot more fucking creepy and gay and the circumstances are changed; otherwise it's basically the same starting point. :D It's just, we allow our boys to adopt their darker and less "civilized" sides of their personalities!

Don't trust IMDb! Until the movie is in the theaters, or the trailer is showing on TV, it's just guesswork. I'm still holding out hope. ::crosses fingers:: (Noooo! Don't take away Hotson! D: Law and RDJ have such amazing chemistry together; to screw that up would be to shoot yourself in the foot.)

Yes! And Watson is confused and unsure what to think, and he's rather awkward while Holmes is oblivious to it and prattles on like they've known each other for years. "Then she knocked me out, put a corset on me and locked me in the wardrobe. The nerve of some people, Watson!"

... Is it a bad thing that I actually squirmed reading Holmes' dialogue? FUCK YES THAT STAYS. With plenty of face-holding and possible hair-stroking and dark sensuous voice. Guh. "There is a power inside you, Watson, I can see it, why don't you let me unlock it? With a mind like yours, you could accomplish grand achievements." (Naturally, Watson is just a little freaked out. At the beginning.)

I'll save the Mary discussion for later, when we aren't in the midst of creating a horribly kinky H/W AU fic. ♥ I do like the idea of Irene&Mary shenanigans, I really do, but, I don't know... Like you said, there's no good reason for it. We'd have to tell a story or subplot from Irene's or Mary's POV in that case, and that's not what we're doing here, is it? Although I suppose Irene could hint at it, or something like that, during their bickering or something.

Very well. If I am such an abominable creature, why don't you just leave me and set up a detective agency with Mrs Hudson, if she's so talented and humble and sympathetic? Clearly that would be the wisest course of action.

[ladylovelace.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't say it was a lot more gay. The film had a lot of queer and for Victorian fiction the books were pretty bad too. A little more gay. Significantly more creepy.

"Then she knocked me out, put a corset on me and locked me in the wardrobe. The nerve of some people, Watson!" - this is staying. This needs to be a part of Holmes' and Irene's odd past. I do not even care. And yes to confused and awkward Watson. "Not only is this man insane, but all of his acquaintences are as well"

"There is a power inside you, Watson, I can see it, why don't you let me unlock it? With a mind like yours, you could accomplish grand achievements." - ALSO STAYING. Squirming no doubt is a good thing.

Don't pout, it isn't fitting for a gentleman.
Whilst Mrs. Hudson has many admirable qualities, I am afraid that she would make a poor substitute for you. As you know, aesthetic considerations are important to me, and whilst I am certain she was a jewel in her heyday, I doubt she ever commanded your ethereal elegance and beauty, my friend.

[beeinmybonnet.livejournal.com]

Well, our AU!'verse will at least be close enough to movieverse for me to imagine RDJ and Law playing the characters. Which they, er, might object to, seeing there will be at least one graphic sex scene? Actually, I'm not sure if RDJ would so opposed to it

"Not only is this man insane, but all of his acquaintences are as well" - Well, really, Watson, what did you expect when you got kidnapped by an infamous crimelord? That everyone would be well-adjusted and pleasant? Pfft. (And hey, it's pretty much canon Irene has a thing for cross-dressing, so it's not too implausible? Whatever, rule of funny (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RuleOfFunny).)

ansdjkfdfdfgjgfghhhj♥ When will we/you/I start writing this thing?

Again, I will bring up random topics concerning the fic! :D (Yes, I have finally admitted to myself that I am officially obsessed with this idea.)
Firstly, there is a fraction of a scene I would like to see, during the time when Watson grows increasingly obsessed with Holmes. Like, he and Mary are out on a walk or something like that, idly chatting, and then some stranger--walking past them, on the other side of the street, sitting down, whatever--mentions "Holmes" in a conversation with a friend, and you can guess where Watson's attention directs. Basically, I want to see Watson being monomaniac and Mary being irritated by it.
Secondly--and this is much more centred on the actual fic--should we have a prologue or start "in media res"? Like, a short prologue of some few hundred words, told in omniscent 3rd person's POV, possibly without even naming the charcters, where we see Holmes having tea with Moriarty, or something like that. Then the title of the fic is displayed in large font and the fic starts for real. The reason I bring this up is because I imagine there mmight be helpful with a prologue, just to set up the scene, so to speak; to show the audience/readers that yes, this is the same old Holmes, please don't think of him as a rabid murderer. But I don't know, maybe the element of uncertainty would benefit the fic? Any input on this? :D

Oh, a gentleman, am I? Nice to hear that I at least am one on occasion. Also, for future reference, I never have and never will pout.
Flatterer. If you think I will fall for that, you are greatly mistaken. I am still very much upset and hurt by your accusations. Ethereal, you say?

[ladylovelace.livejournal.com]

I have come across few people in my life who object to graphic sex scenes. I suspect this means the company I am keeping is not quite right.

Whyyyyyy did you have to link me to tvtropes? (It is actually canon that Irene had a thing for cross-dressing, she states outright that she is comfortable in men's clothes. Holmes crossdresses once too, IIRC. So nothing new there, really).

I have a list - bodice ripper, another PWP which came to me in my melty haze today, and then this. I need to do two or three other things beforehand, though.

That is an excellent idea for a scene - greatly demonstrative of Watson's obsession, and a perfect way to show just how bad it's gotten.

I was about to experiment with ways to start it off, both with and without prologues and with slightly different methods of narration, and run them past you. I can see both benefits and drawbacks to a prologue. Of course, tea with Moriarty would be a good reason for a prologue, and it would set up that there is some weird shit going on, but then all the same Watson could provide the set up and there could be a mystery about it for a while, which as you say, might be nice. I'm not sure but I'm happy to write a half-dozen beginnings and we'll see which one works best, ok?

I don't think I accused you of anything you don't freely admit to. Except perhaps being a gentleman, which I see may have been incorrect. If you think I will fall for your "woe is me" act, then you are the one who is greatly mistaken.

[beeinmybonnet.livejournal.com]

Depends on who's having the sex, if you ask me. While I won't prevent any two consenting adults from having it, I don't want watch everything. RDJ is in the want-category, though. I honestly can't say anything about the company I'm keeping -- I'm only social on the internet, so I suppose that is... a bad thing?

Ah, sorry! I spend so much time there I don't even give it a second thought. Er, ooops?

If you're up to writing that many beginnings, I have nothing against it. :D
We could, in theory, really mess with the readers by having that oogie-boogie prologue and have Holmes act more threatening/omnious/dark/untrustworthy/whatever than what he actually is, although that could backfire because then the readers expect Holmes to rape Watson at some point through the entire fic? Oh, so many possibilities! ♥

Really, your bedside manner is most appaling, my dear fellow. You are far too hostile; have you never heard of the act of soothing? It is a wonder you have any patients at all, my boy.

[ladylovelace.livejournal.com]

I suppose it does. But then I guess if I don't seek it out, I won't see it. Usually.

It's cool. In a supreme show of willpower, I managed to close the window fairly quickly.

The suspense could be interesting, you know. I have trouble believing that Holmes would rape anyone though. Perhaps, by contrast, it could be good to show Holmes as doing Holmes-y things in the prologue - chemical experiments and whathaveyou, and then move on to Watson being determined to catch him, confusing and intriguing the audience.

You have told me time and again that you do not need a doctor, and I tend to save my excellent bedside manner for people who might appreciate it. You are not ill in any way I am qualified to help you with. If you want soothing, have a cup of tea.

[beeinmybonnet.livejournal.com]

The only instance I could see Holmes commit rape would be if his mind snapped and he became delusional/didn't know what he was doing. And I know I don't want to read that.

True, that idea could work as well. Although then we don't have the tea party with Moriarty, which I am so ridiculously attached to. (And Colonel Morgan spying at them via the old hole-in-a-painting trick or whatever, and Holmes and Moriarty know very well he's there, know that the other knows, and both ignore it. God, that would make the whole fic look like utter crack, wouldn't it?)

And because I'm obstinate: further matters to bring up before we encounter them halfway into the fic and found ourselves at a loss.
A) At what point does Watson become/realise he's attracted to Holmes? I imagine Holmes is from the very beginning, but one can make up many different scenarios for Watson. Is Watson attracted to him from the start but in denial? Does he get attracted to him over time? Does he accept it, or does it creep up on him, or is he as surprised by the victory!sex as Holmes is?
B) What kind of, and how many, cases are there going to be in the fic? This I'm particularly interested in because I might as well do some good and research a bit. Holmes specializes in over-the-top thefts, right? Then we need the case which starts it all, then possibly several more depending how in-depth we go into Watson's "research", and then we arrive at the Beauty&theBeast period. We need one case where they try it out for the first time, one where they encounter Irene and the one which is pretty much the finale of the fic. Possibly some others inbetween?

Do you have any points you'd like to bring up?

Casting aspersions upon my mental health? Watson, this grieves me deeply. I shall retire to my rooms, alone, and wait for this pain to go away. (I'm afraid I can't; I conducted an experiment yesterday, when you were out helping the poor, and our supply of tea had to be sacrificed. Do not worry; it was in the name of science.)

[ladylovelace.livejournal.com]

I am not willing to sacrifice the Moriarty tea party - *but* I see no reason it couldn't take place while Watson was, say, chained to the radiator in the sitting room whilst it goes on and Moran is upset with Moriarty because he didn't go to such lengths to woo him into being his partner in crime. And Moriarty is just a little jealous because Watson is younger and prettier and has a better moustache than his sidekick.

I am not entirely sure, but I think a realisation moment that he is thinking about sexxing his captor and then a bunch of "I am not an invert" angst where he things he has actually snapped under the pressure but then realises that he had been attracted to the man's mind even when he was investigating him (facilitated but subtle hints in the narrative, not least of all ignoring his girlfriend) might be the way to do it. I am, of course, up for suggestions.

I think that yes, there needs to be the one that starts it all, and then a few more which show Watson that Holmes is actually a clever little bastard - they could perhaps escalate in scale? I want Watson to obsess for a reason, not merely because he is naturally obsessive (because I don't think he is).

And I don't know why but I desperately want the one where they meet Irene to take place at the British Museum, like one of those horribly cliched robberies with trip lasers and junk - except without the lasers, and with whatever crime prevention methods were in place at the time (guards, I imagine, but I do not actually know).

The others I am up for suggestions on but if you know of any actually occurring robberies of the time, those could be fun to incorporate.

I do have a question, actually - in which year would this be set? Early 1880's? Later? Because the boys got together in 1881, I believe, after Watson had been home for a little while, but maybe he needs a bit longer to establish himself? - I'll leave that question up to you.

Oh, Holmes. I did not wish to injure you; come sit with me on the settee and tell me all about your experiment. I promise not to shout at you over the tea.

[beeinmybonnet.livejournal.com]

asdjskhdsfhkgsjakfhkjjh OKAY, WE'LL GO WITH THIS VERSION, ALL RIGHT? God, that would be awesome. This has to be pretty early, I think, so Watson is still fighty and "::splutters and hisses:: FUCK YOU" to everything and everyone, and Holmes has to explain away his behaviour. "You have to excuse Watson, Mr Moriarty; he's... adapting himself at the moment and is a bit petulant. More tea?"
I wasn't going to make a dirty joke about Moriarty/Morgan, but again it proves to no avail -- you only end up doing them instead! (But yes, please, can't we have some seriously subtle subtext between them? You know, that can be just as easily brushed off as them being long-time partners and generally quick to take offence. Pretty please? :D)


YES, that sounds like a very good plan! ♥ I think it would be the most logical. And if Watson ever hinted at these things--homosexuality and ~sodomy~ in general--Holmes would be "... yes, so?" about the whole thing which just confuses Watson all the more. (I have this guilty pleasure idea that Watson might even forgo all kinds of intimacy with Mary because of Holmes, at least on occasion, like when Holmes just has commited a new crime. Then he'd be so busy doing research has no time for anything else kthxbye.)

Excellent; I'll do my best to think up situations and do some research. (Because incorporating actual robberies is a marvellous idea.) Which ties in nicely to your question when the hell all of this takes place. Well, we have a lot to play with. In canon, Holmes and Watson meet in 1881; Watson meets Mary in '87 or '88. The movie, on the other hand, takes place in '91. So we can pretty much pick and choose as we like. But I think that '84 or '85 would be the best? Like you said, then he's had some time to establish himself again and get those good-looks of his back and he'd be pretty much "going with the flow", so to speak.

... I agree. They meet Irene at the British Museum. Because we're allowed some clichés, dammit!

Well, if you insist. Move over-- there, perfect. Mind if I rest on your lap? So, I started wondering about the various effects off... [insert incomprehensible chemist nerd lingo]

[ladylovelace.livejournal.com]

LOL at Holmes treating Watson more or less like a new pet. Naturally this is what actually happens, which upsets Watson even more. And of course there are Moriarty/Moran undertones. I am a big fan of subtext.

Yes x1000 to Holmes being indifferent to Watson's suffering about his sexuality, and totally not getting why it might be a problem. (Also LOL "But John, can't we just-" "Sorry Mary, Holmes struck again, gotta go")

I am intrigued to know what tells us that the film takes place in '91, because I have been trying to place it, but that is largely irrelevant and I think '84-'85 works nicely (unless, of course, something really cool happened in '83 or something, besides which dates can be fudged since this is AU)

Cliches have a bad name - they are over used because they are actually pretty good.

[Insert contented sigh and absent hair-petting]

[beeinmybonnet.livejournal.com]

Well, Holmes treats him lovingly as a pet, because he actually doesn't know what else to do to show his affection other than to pet Watson's hair and coo at him. Which Watson doesn't get because he thinks he's being humiliated. Fuck, are we going to work subtle d/s vibes into this as well? I wonder if Watson would be suspicious of Moriarty and Morgan as well? I mean, in a paranoid way, not in a gaydar way. "All right, so Holmes is insane and paws me all the time; will those two colleagues of his do that as well? Eeek, get away from me!" "Don't worry about Watson, he doesn't bite. At least, not much, anyways."

Holmes is already on the wrong side of the law and has had previous lovers (I assume?) so of course he doesn't see why it should be a problem. As long as none of them go around with a sign saying "I sod men and like it" they ought to be fine. (Yes, exactly like that! With Mary steadily getting more and more cutting until she pulls that Victorian equivalent of "Well, if you like him so much, why don't you marry him?")

If I remember correctly--and according to internet resources--the paper Moriarty reads says "January 1891" or something like that. In the 221B game the dates on the various papers and such are November-December 1890, so that adds up.
So, '84-'85 is our starting point, unless an awesome crime was commited in another year, in which case we stretch our timeline a little. Correct?

Some clichés are horrible, but like you said, they're not all bad. The meeting-in-a-museum one isn't bad at all! :D

So. Anything else we need to discuss and/or have forgotten? ♥

[ladylovelace.livejournal.com]

Moriarty is sus, the Colonel even more so so I don't see why Watson wouldn't notice this. I melted a little at the suggestion that Watson would be concerned over being petted by everyone who walks through the damned door. Poor Watson.

"I sod men and like it." I lol'd. Harder than I should have. And I think we have discussed before that Holmes is a flaming queer. Sometimes literally on fire, even. But not obvious.

Ah, I never played the game - goes to show what you miss out on. Anyway yes, that's about the timeline.

I don't think there's anything else. Gimme a day or two to get something to you and we'll work from there?

[beeinmybonnet.livejournal.com]

Well, naturally, it would be hilarious if Watson thought he had been dragged into a molly house, but, uh, maybe that's too crack-y? Or perhaps not? As long as Watson tries to keep himself as far away from M&M as possible, I'm happy. (And this is the reason why this has to happen early in Watson and Holmes', er, acquaintance, because it has to be before Watson realises Holmes would never let him come to harm. Yes, I'd love to see Holmes deliver a no-holds-barred beatdown to a thug who attacks Watson. With Watson gaping stupidly at him for it.)

Holmes is, though, isn't he? I mean, even in the movie, unless I was hallucinating. Just, there was something horribly affected in his manner in the resturant scene, was it not? Not just him being rude and awkward, but actually eyebrow-raising. That cravat was so, so gay.

You haven't? I haven't finished it yet, but it's pretty, and have awesome briefing videos with Lestrade (♥!) and it fills in the plot of the film nicely. (It's a canon prequel to a canon fanfic!)

So soon!? I mean, certainly, of course, take all the time you need! ♥♥ I'll PM or e-mail you if I come up with something that cannot possibly wait, and you'll do the same, right? All right, we're ON!

[ladylovelace.livejournal.com]

Within days of his capture, I should think. Or possibly on the day of, and Watson has a horrible moment where he thinks he's going to be sold to the two of them, or something.

I suppose it was, come to that. Cravats, though, are the mark of a proper gentleman, slightly more concerned with fashion than Watson is (remembering that Holmes is interminably vain).

I am allergic to Facebook. It makes me sad.

Yep - if you come up with something, feel free to tell me about it, and I shall do likewise. *is excited*

[beeinmybonnet.livejournal.com]

... Let's keep that oh-my-god-is-he-going-to-sell-me-as-white-slave thing in, pretty please? ♥ Because then we can have Watson internally panicking and having to talk himself out of it by reminding himself he's a near expert at Holmes, and Holmes doesn't dabble in human trafficking, so get a grip on yourself already.

Oh, I know Holmes is vain like a peacock, but the first thing I noticed was that he wore the cravat under his collar rather than over it, which, hm, gave an interesting effect. (This is one of the drawbacks of swotting up on fashion. ::facepalm::) But he acted sort of snarkily flamboyant, clearly playing it up. Maybe that was another factor for Watson's irritation/awkwardness? "Brilliant, old chap, do act like a total nance, no one will notice it, I'm sure. Gargh!"

::coughs:: I hate Facebook with the passion of a gogolplex boiling saucepans, but my fangirlism won over in the end and I created a fake account. You don't have to do much more than that; only a (fake) name and (real) e-mail is required, thank god. (I wonder if the clips are available on-line. Hm...)