Bee In My Bonnet

YOU.

You are dragging me into this and why am I not resisting? This proves it, you know. You are Holmes, and somewhere along the line I have become the incredibly whipped Watson who hangs on to your every suggestion. I should be more concerned over this.

Ok so, yes. Poison-laced tea and crumpets with Moriarty. Oooh and, Watson starts out as a sort of genius coroner who solves crime in his spare time (have you seen Diagnosis: Murder? It would be like that). And then Holmes goes off on his crime spree, and whilst everyone knows it's him because he doesn't even try to hide it, there's never enough evidence and they'd never actually catch him anyway. Cue brother Mycroft (as played by Stephen Fry, in my mind) who is helping our intrepid doctor track Sherlock down but in his usual lazy way where he just sits around at his club and points out obscure little things as though they are the most obvious thing in the world in that MOST INFURIATING way that Holmes does but a hundred times worse. Watson is so absorbed by the case that his fiancee, Mary Morstan, leaves him because all they ever talk about is Holmes (perhaps with a scathing parting remark the Victorian equivalent of "If you like him so much, why don't you just marry him?" - I love Mary, just not when she is in the way of my boys).

Then Holmes kidnaps Watson, because he gets too close and at first Watson is like D:< but then he slowly realises that Holmes is amazing and whilst Holmes only kidnapped the good doctor to get him out of the way, he starts questioning himself as to why he can't kill him and then he realises it's because he respects him a lot. However I would have difficulty extracting Watson from proper British morality so it may have to end with grudging respect and UST. And MUCH FOE-YAY.

I don't even like AU's :(

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The fact that you aren't more concerned only provides further proof that you are becoming Watson. ♥ Wanna know a secret? I'm just as whipped as you are, you just don't know it yet.

Yes. Watson's this upstanding British gentleman with a fiancée and respectable doctor-y work, and life is going splendid. Then Holmes commits a crime which for some reason catches Watson's attention, and then he's lost. Lost. Have you seen Zodiac? That kind of lost; he becomes obsessed with this self-assured, so-called gentleman thief Sherlock Holmes. (Just like

zarah5 said.) He even seeks out Fry!Mycroft* and demands his co-operation. Watson drives everyone around him insane, from his long-suffering landlady Mrs Hudson to Inspector G Lestrade whom he just won't stop badger.

The kidnapping would be somewhat unplanned, though? Like, Watson has finally figured out enough to be at the right place at the right time, and Holmes sort of steal him as well for convenience's sake? And then everything turn Beauty & The Beast with Holmes keeping Watson prisoner and Watson being "Go to hell!" but at the same time so. Very. Curious. And Holmes is being he's most charming and fascinating and Watson is just a bit disconcerted by the fact that he stares at Holmes' chest a bit too much. And Holmes teaches Watson the science of crime and eventually drags Watson along on a "case". Watson protests vehemently but then learns that the thrill of theft is absolutely intoxicating and the gambler he thought he had buried long ago resurfaces in him.
~~All right, your turn. ::hands over baton::~~
* = I might just love you a little more for this. ♥

I'm not that fond of AUs either! :D
~~I might just be working on a mock-film poster for this. Might.~~

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&hearts

Oh, I want this. Why doesn't this exist yet? Like, right now, right here, on my screen?

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Because... Actually, I have no good reason for this. Why doesn't it exist?

I'm signing on to this project by offering ideas and very possibly illustrate it. Any takers? ♥ ~~Bribery is an underrated art form.~~

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I am tempted, oh. TEMPTED!!! But on the other hand, I think

ladylovelace's got it covered, and I currently very much have other epic fic on my plate, in which Holmes has gone missing and Mary died - and as it turns out, the accident was arranged by Moriarty, to lure Holmes back to Watson and England. And Watson is back to gambling and Holmes is back to drugs, and for all that they don't care about their own well-being, they very much care about the well-being of each other, so they turn to sex as a means to let off steam. And then the sex becomes more. And there's also Moriarty.

And, um. What was I trying to say?

Right. The above story is eating away at my agenda, so, uh. While I want to, I think this is better left to others. ~~Then again, epic addiction fic should be done in time to give me a shot at writing Big Bang.~~

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Yes, I read about that when I stalked your journal! :D Please, leave this mutating plot-bunny in my and

ladylovelace's hands ~~though you are of course more than welcome to contribute~~ and we'll do the best we can. Because your fic needs to be written and nothing should come in its way!

~~See how nice I am, speaking for someone else without their explicit consent. ♥~~

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You were stalking my journal? *g*

And ugh, yes. It's at 20'000 words by now? I currently keep dragging this sex scene out because I am bad at writing sex! Or at least, I moan and groan about it like a petulant child.

I could serve as a sounding board, if the two of you want something like that! I'm good at being a sounding board; just don't ask me about grammar.

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I hate to interrupt but I can hardly fathom why you should think that drawn out sex scenes were a bad thing.

Also I am intrigued by the premise of your fic and await it with bated breath.

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I am not completely convinced this fandom needs... so far about 2000 words of Watson tentatively figuring out how to fuck a man while Holmes tells him he isn't made of china. This story is not even a pwp, dammit! There is no actual need of prolonged sex scenes! I was doing fine with the first three, I was!

*sighs*

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I'm going to guess that you're not upset about stalking, so I plead guilty as charged. ♥

20,000 words? Already? That's awesome! \o/ I can't wait to read it! (Oh, and don't worry about long sex scenes; they build ~atmosphere~. ~~Tee-hee, you said "moan and groan"!~~)

Don't be surprised if we take you up on that offer. As soon as this monster plot bunny stops growing with the speed of light, I'll let you know. ♥

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Have I seen Zodiac? Have I heck. But I must admit I was thinking obsessive like the way Dr. Van Helsing is obsessive over Dracula. Although I suppose the difference isn't that great. EITHER WAY yes. Unhealthy obsession with Holmes to the complete detriment of his job and his home and his friends.

It is funny you mention Beauty and The Beast because that is exactly what it was reminding me of. ~~Perhaps complete with a musical number involving a teapot? "There may be something there that wasn't there before..."~~.

I was assuming, of course, that Watson is being kept naked, because Holmes in his brilliantly deranged sort of logic figures that it is much harder to escape if you have no clothing. I'm not sure why that seems important but I am having thoughts about some seriously awkward moments. And Watson angsting about being naked, because I do love a spot of Watson angst.

And part of me wants a moment in which Holmes suddenly realises that it has been three days and he really ought to feed Watson before he drops dead. Simply because it hadn't occured to him that people who are not him need to eat ocassionally. And Watson is grateful but a little weirded out. I want creepy care-taking.

And I want a "you could do so much good, Holmes", "you could have so much power over those mere mortals, my dear Watson" conversation.

I am not sure why dark!Holmes is doing so much for me, but he so is.

You have, of course, given me the answer - there is a dark side to Watson's personality which could easily be played up and manipulated and maybe they could come out the other side as the fabulously brilliant overlords of the world. It would be easy enough to become addicted to things other than gambling, if one is already in possession of an addictive personality.

I suspect once I am done with the bodice-ripper (which is turning out far more serious than I thought it would), I can just tell I am going to start on this. Damn you Holmes.

_{:D I love Stephen Fry much more than I should}

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~~RDJ is so sizzling hot in Zodiac. UNF.~~

I've kept count on the times it turn out we're thinking the same thing. The number is, frankly, a bit scary. ~~Violin serenading. We need violin serenading. Singing Baker Street Irregulars are optional.~~

That... makes sense and would be so awesome. Though I still think some piece of clothing should be present. Holmes would probably be considerate enough to allow Watson some modesty, but "eccentric genius"-y enough to not realise that a tiny scrap of fabric isn't going to make a lot of difference.

YES. YES, AND A THOUSAND TIMES YES. Creepy care-taking, oh, my latent dark kink is wreaking havoc at the moment. The whole fic should be like this. Like, a definite tone of creepiness throughout the whole story, and it should damn well end with Holmes and Watson being crime lords. Morality and sensibilites be damned; I want a fic where borderline deranged people do borderline insane things and everything is not "fixed" in the last minute and everyone learn their lesson.

::melts:: Oh, oh, yes, please, a "join ~~the dark side~~ me" speech must be in it. With gratuitous reference to RDJ's husky, dark chocolate voice and asjassjlkjsfljdlfjgjigjdl (I also propose an unhealthy abundance of handcuffs!kink, possibly even subtle gunplay?)

Because he's sexy. Let's be honest, okay? :D

... Actually, dark!Watson isn't that bad either. Unf, yes, Holmes lures that hidden side of him out into the open, and loves it, and Watson is basically high all the time on different hormones. That's also how the sexing happens? Like, after a particularly excellent "case", they sort of just fall into bed together? Or do we have a more... sinister twist to it?

(I think the only thing I balk at is murder and non-con. Beating people into a pulp on a regular basis, sure thing, but not murder. Holmes' moral compass isn't that wonky. Unless... Well, if Watson were to get hurt, Holmes might not be held responsible for his action, perhaps? [No non-con because I hate it, simple as that.])

YOU ARE WRITING THE BODICE-RIPPER? OH MY GOD, I LOVE YOU LIKE I LOVE CHOCOLATE! ♥ Awesome. (Seriousness is not a bad thing! :D)
My dear Watson, you can hardly blame me for everything. I merely showed you how to look at this from another angle; where that complex tangle that is your mind takes you from there, I cannot be held responsible for.

Stephen Fry is made of Awesome. :D

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Perhaps I will allow Watson his underwear. Or a blanket which he can cower under and then be oddly comforted by Holmes' violin playing. And I have just decided that said handcuffs will be really, really good quality. Holmes made them himself and even he can't escape from them so there's no real point in trying, Watson.

I like that. That Watson would be so totally high and flushed with sucess that he just turns around and starts kissing and groping and since Holmes is already operating well outside the law, he's like "what the hell, Watson is pretty and this might bring him closer to really being on my side and if everyone consents and gets off why do I care?"

I am trying to decided whether that is more or less healthy than some variation on Stockholm syndrome. I suspect Watson actually giving up the law for the promise of power would be more healthy than fooling himself into liking his captor, so I shall go with the first. I would like to keep Watson's mind intact.

Of course I am writing the bodice-ripper. Although at this point I can promise only crossdressing and actual ripping of an actual bodice which is on Watson's person. Rather more literal than usual but I suspect it will be acceptable all the same.

Oh but I can blame you, Holmes. The 'complex tangle' is of your own creation, I am merely the poor soul tasked with being your chronicler, and, for reasons which ocassionally escape me, friend.

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You are aware that you've just set up a too-perfect-to-ignore scenario where Watson handcuffs Holmes, right? Perhaps that happens early in their, er, acquaintance, when Watson still imagines he is a law-abiding citizen. (A situation which Holmes, naturally, converse himself out of.)

Well, if your already near-high and have your object of unresovled sexual tension and affection right beside you, why not start to snog like teenagers? ("Well, I'm already a criminal, what's another criminal offence?" [Actually, this sort of makes me want a scene near the end of the fic, where Holmes and Watson perform a coup of some kind and let Lestrade et al see them but not catch them--you know, that old mocking trick--and then top it off with briefly kissing each other just as an extra fuck-you. Gods, my brain.]) Though I suspect Holmes would be a bit less detached? I mean, Watson gets obsessed with Holmes because Holmes is BRILLIANT and a GENIUS and FASCINATING. Perhaps Holmes gets obsessed with Watson because Watson is INTRIGUING and HE JUST CAN'T FIGURE HIM OUT? So, mutual obsession. ~~Ooh, we're really entering the realm of dark and twisted here, aren't we? ♥~~

You started to think of Stockholm Syndrome as well? ♥ Why can't we be completely immoral and depraved and make this a really creepy and twisted story about liberation? Like, rather than it being about poor Watson being manipulated by his evil captor Holmes, it's a story about Holmes showing Watson a better kind of life where he doesn't have to deny himself and he can be truly happy. Because that is what I want. Watson being alive and happy together with Holmes... while regularly beating people into a pulp and commiting crimes. ~~Me? Twisted? What makes you think that? :D~~

IT IS VERY MUCH ACCEPTABLE! As long as it involves corsets and flangst, I'm more than satisfied. ♥

By the way, what would the fic be titled? I've spent the last couple of hours thinking about it, but I can't come up with anything more innovative than "Crimes of Passion". ~~::glances at mock-poster outline::~~

You wound me, my dear fellow. You wound me deeply indeed. You are so much more to me than merely my chronicler and "most of the time friend". You are the one whom I share quarters with, whom I borrow clothes from, who disturb me in my work for such negligible matters as food and sleep, whom I can talk to. Believe me, had you merely been my chronicler, I'd have you tossed out on the street years ago.

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I had not thought of the reverse but am now certain it needs to happen. And then Watson is like "I have you at my mercy...uh...I haven't really thought past that point, actually." and then Holmes being the smug bitch he is is like "Watson, I have your blanket and unless you are going to strip me and steal my clothing, which could end in your demise, depending on my mood, you cannot go into the street naked and wander around, since there are two feet of snow out there." Watson then proceeds to rage impotently, possibly break some furniture and then Holmes proves himself to be a lying liar who lies and breaks out of the cuffs. At which point creepy soothing takes place.

Lewd mocking is in. No question. I do not mean for Holmes to be indifferent as such, merely not worried that he is OMG BREAKING THE LAW, because, well, he's been there before. He is of course very into Watson (though possibly disbelieving that sex would ever happen) as the one person likely to bring him down.

Ok so now I am thinking that perhaps this needs to take on the stance of a slightly alternative actual history - in which the whole government is seriously corrupt and Holmes can see this and is trying to bring them down, but since he can't go to the law he has to work outside it. And Watson, being the loyal son of England and stout military man that he is, also cannot see it but eventually Holmes proves it to him and then he decides it is better to rebel against the lie than allow the country to sink into a mire of corruption. BONUS Holmes brings him around to the idea of ruling England together to save her from herself. Actually come to think history need not be that alternative for this.

Surely it is obvious that I am useless with titles? I have the first 5 parts of a WIP done without publishing any of them because I cannot think of a title for the whole thing. Titles, it could be said, are not my forte.

Oh. *is stunned into adoring silence*.

Wait. What do you mean tossed me out - we split the rent evenly!

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asjkaldajsfhdjkf YES. YES, FUCK YES. That needs to happen! And I propose the creepy soothing includes hair-petting and hushing, though strangely non-sexual, seeing Watson's naked/near naked and Holmes was tied up with handcuffs just a few seconds ago. And poor Watson being so confused and not knowing whether he should accept the comfort or punch Holmes in the face.

Actually come to think history need not be that alternative for this.
Oooh, burn. ♥

I think that could work. I mean, if it's more like "Well, the government sucks, so we might actually do more good breaking the law than abiding to it, so who cares?" rather than Holmes and Watson turning into Underground Heroes and saving the day.
But one point I'm standing firm on is that Lestrade must be the decent man he is. He might work for a corrupt government, but he cannot be a crooked cop. If he is, then I will weep.

Also! To return to a previous topic, the one regarding why the hell Watson would turn into a criminal. I think it wouldn't be that hard to manage. I mean, after Watson came home from the war, his self-esteem and confidence must have been shot to hell. Not only was that particular war a failure, IIRC, but also he's an ~invalid~. And since he didn't have a batshit crazy co-hab to nurse him back to health, he should still have the same self-esteem as your average teenager. Then this amazing, fascinating and oh-so-cool rogue turns up and shows you that you're actually not helpless, but not only that, he offers you power as well. Sad psychology, yes, but somewhat plausible all the same?

Oh, really, do you now? A WIP? ~~::grabby hands::~~

Again, also, there are other points I want to bring up! First, I have two questions:
A) Who would play Moriarty?
and
B) Does Irene Adler show up as a non-love interest?
Then, I want to ask you if you've heard Welcome to Rapture (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEFIZh_Zscc)? Because I'm just a teeny bit obsessed and monomaniac and certainly didn't spend last night looking for music that fit. But I really like the feeling you get by this song; it's exactly how I imagine the fic would be like. Your opinion? :D

Well, really, old boy, who found these quarters in the first place? I'm sure I could manage the rent on my own, if I must. Not that I have any inclanation to, so don't get any ideas, my dear.

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I am all for creepy hair petting and confused Watson.

Ok, so, I am beginning to get a picture of how this is going to happen - Holmes is a bit of flaming loon (nothing new there), criminal in need of a sidekick. Having eliminated everyone else in all of London as not right, he picks out John Watson, who gets a lot of his work from the police. 'cause he's awesome. This is why Watson knows Lestrade, and why, when Holmes starts leaving him stuff, that he knows to go to Mycroft.

In the mean time, Watson is living his normal life as an exceptional physician but one without the funds for a particularly sucessful practice, a financee who he loves, in his way, but is not exactly head over heels for - Mary is a charming woman, but Watson knows that two people getting married should 'click', and they simply don't. He intends to go through with it, though. He can be content, and since the war he feels no need to actively pursue women - they met by chance and sort of fell in together, I imagine. He is, however, not thrilled with his life and finds most of his fun in the bits of criminal cases he gets to hear about from his buddy Lestrade. Either way, he lives his little life, but he is far from happy with it. He becomes obsessed when Holmes first sends him a note about a crime he has commited (the note sounds oddly like the man is looking for approval, which is absurd)

So, along comes Sherlock Holmes, who for reasons known only to his brilliant mind, has decided that it's John Watson or bust. I wonder if perhaps such an important undertaking could merit a trip to the country, or if the capture and rehabilitation (to the dark side, naturally) should take place in London and Holmes is so damned clever that no-one will ever find him anyway.

At first, Watson is Not Happy. I think perhaps I will have him turn up at Baker Street, having been so obsessed with the man for so long he finally realises that Holmes must maintain a base there (he does have *some* deducitive skills, after all, and Holmes is a cocky bitch). Turn up as Holmes is there, perhaps having deliberately led him?

Either way, his imprisonment goes on and Holmes has never been cruel to him, certainly on purpose, anyway, because he really wants Watson to like him. There is creepy comforting and brilliant displays of intellect and an awful lot of violin playing. Eventually Watson is like "wow, this guy is awesome and he picked me *starry eyed adoration*" and they start off their life of crime together, which culminates in lewd taunting of the police and victory sex.

Hmm, Moriarty. I'm really not sure, since I always see this guy (http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/memoryalpha/en/images/4/41/James_Moriarty.jpg) (Daniel Davis) as him, because I am a trekkie (*le gasp*) and Data's holosuite program is actually my first experience of Sherlock Holmes :/.

Irene should really be there, shouldn't she. Perhaps they can both be going after the same prize on the same night and there can be Irene going "I see you've picked yourself a pretty little sidekick" and Holmes can be like "you're just jealous Irene, also Watson is mine, back off". If you have a better idea of how to accomplish Irene participation, I am all ears.

That song is brilliant is has action and melancholy and a violin. (Also weird because I can hear my brother playing Bioshock upstairs).

Oh yes? And whose stable income allowed you to take them on, hmm? You are sucessful now, Holmes, but that wasn't always the way of things, was it?

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ajdhksdfjdhfdg Oh, this is so much fun. Okay, my turn. ::rolls up sleeves::

I assume Watson moonshines as some sort of freelance coroner, and that's how he knows the police? So, while he's exchanging polite pleasantries with Lestrade he overhears some WIP case and of course gets curious. He learns -- through more or less morally acceptable ways -- that the criminal the police is chasing is the elusive crimelord Sherlock Holmes, whom everyone knows is a crook but don't actually have any evidence against him, so they can't throw him into prison. (I have a vague idea that Holmes specializes in various forms of theft and fraud? I'm open to anything, as long as it's not murder.)

Yes to Watson living a rather "lukewarm" life. That's perfect; keep that! And because of this, he gets more and more fascinated by Holmes, and tries to find out everything about him, starts collecting newspapers, tries to learn Holmes' trademarks. Basically, he becomes a complete fangirl and drives everybody nuts. (Pretty please, can there be a scene where Watson asks Lestrade for further information, possibly classified, and Lestrade goes "OMG get a life! >:O"?)

I really like the idea that Holmes deliberately baits Watson. ♥ I think it would be more logical if he notices Watson after Watson has noticed him? Like, Holmes learns there is a civilian who is just a bit obsessed, spies on him, and then comes to the conclusion that Watson has to be his partner. Because Holmes is a very, verly lonely person and wants a friend.
I vote that Holmes "invites" Watson as well! :D That's a lovely idea!

Personally, I always imagined they were in London. I don't think Holmes needs to hide; since he is so awesome, the police will never have proof enough to convict him anyways. Which changes at the end of the story? I admit I kinda want to see Holmes and Watson: Famous Criminals ride off into the sunset together and start their life on the run, or something like that. Possibly heading for France.

I have no image whatsoever of Moriarty, and as long as he's not played by Brad Pitt, I'm happy. (I've never actually seen Star Trek! :D)

Hm... ::ponders:: What you say definitely is a good idea. I can imagine Irene being a sort of not-enemy to Holmes, in the same way Moriarty is, only with less poison-laced tea? And am I allowed to be so self-indulgent as to request homosexual!Holmes and completely smother whatever UST there ever was between him and Irene? But I like the idea of having Irene as a rival; it could further deepen Watson's feelings that he and Holmes are a unit -- more "us vs. them", so to speak. (Also, why do I imagine Watson's response to the exchange would be "I'm not his sidekick, and what do you want from him, anyways? >:|")

And before I forget; just to make sure, this story is told from Watson's POV, right? Not from his 1st person's POV or anything, but in a 3rd person sort of way? Argh, you know what I mean. Right?

ALL RIGHT, THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS. I haven't even played Bioshock, neither has my brother, and I only stumbled upon this song. That you already know it is-- You know, I might have to reconsider my atheism. Is this merely coincidence?

Well, if you want to be like that, my dear Watson, I may perhaps remind you of the times when I had to pay the rent all by myself? That reminds me, did you ever retrieve those cuff links you lost?

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All right *rubs hands*

Yes, I was making the assumption that Watson is attached to the police in a medical man capacity. Coroner works well. And I was working under the idea that Holmes is in the business of crime mostly for the entertainment value, so murder would be a silly choice, given that I am not fond of the idea of Holmes as a serial killer, getting off on killing people. I was thinking seriously good jewel/priceless artifact theif, because it is flashy crime that he would enjoy planning and getting away with, I think.

Watson: "Just tell me this one last thing and I'll go."
Lestrade: "Dude. There is more to life than Holmes."

Wherein Watson is like an addict searching for his next hit. Also it does indeed make a lot more sense that Watson would come to Holmes' attention after Watson becomes obsessed. I am glad one of us is capable of organised thoughts.

Yes they should run off into the sunset. This must happen. And you're right, he probably doesn't need to hide, and London was far sparser back then anyway.

BUT WHYYYYY would he be played by Brad Pitt? I do not understand. (Oh dear Gods no tell me it is a cruel joke. I am pained. DO. NOT. WANT.)

I sort of imagine, in this universe, Irene and Holmes being a bit like Gregson and Lestrade - pretty much equals, doing much the same job and with sort-of professional animosity and grudging respect. Except with the added "Irene is a girl" thing, which I think means harmless teasing in which they both know they aren't going to fall into bed together.

Yes to indignant Watson being Not A Sidekick. At which point Irene is like "aww, he's adorable, I should get myself one," and Watson remains indignant. Holmes wants to laugh but he is upset that she is upsetting Watson, who is then pissed with Holmes for thinking he can't stick up for himself. And on it would go.

I think it sort of has to be from Watson's POV (camera on the shoulder as opposed to 1st person, I suppose).

I think it is merely that I have my fingers in as many pies as I can manage. Also the sequel comes out soonish I think, which I imagine is why he's playing it.

Well, if the discussion is moving on to vices, at least mine aren't going to destroy body and soul. Unlike some people I could mention. And I have taken to wearing a pair of yours, actually.

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Yes, exactly, Holmes commits crimes that will prove a challenge. I bet he even anonymously tips the police off before he pulls off a coup. "Dear Scotland Yard: I'm planning to steal the Crown jewels this Friday 22:00. Love, Me."
(I read an essay once about the "Holmes was Jack the Ripper" theory. It... sort of doesn't add up, if you ask me.)

ajhaskdjsfhd That dialogue YES. YES. Exactly like that!

All right, I wasn't going to mention this, but then you had to do a Watson=addict comparison. Remember that I spent last night browsing music? Well, I came across a grunge rock cover of "Toxic" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8XK0AZZlug), and, well. I don't know if I should laugh or cry, because apparently the immortal words of Britney Spears sum up my conception of AU!Watson perfectly. ::facepalm::
Hey, this is why bandying ideas is such a brilliant thing! :D We come up with different things, and we tweak them together. ♥

It's an internet rumour that's been fleeting around for a while. I only hope they're wrong! D: I've also heard whispers about Hugh Laurie playing Mariarty, though, which I have nothing at all against, if nothing else because then I can imagine an EPIC scene where Laurie!Moriarty, RDJ!Holmes and Fry!Mycroft match wit with each other and the screen implodes from sheer awesome. (Why do people find Brad Pitt sexy? I've never thought that. Neither do I think Orlando Bloom. ~~Also, I'm afraid I can't take Mr. Pitt seriously, because his last name means "dick" in Swedish.~~)

Yes! The Gregson&Lestrade comparison is perfect. Maybe she could be something of a behind the scenes figure? Like, a while into the whole Beauty&theBeast situation, Holmes gets in a huff, and when Watson cautiously asks what's wrong, Holmes vents and rants a little about That Woman. Which just foreshadows and builds up to Watson's GRRRRR-behaviour towards Irene when they finally meet. (Threeway bickering FTMFW!)

Camera on shoulder! That's the expression I was looking for! Wasn't it I who use it in the first place? Gods, fail, much?

Also, I've been thinking about this ~~obsessively~~, but I'm feeling self-indulgent and hey, we already have creepy comfort/care-taking and handcuffs, why not throw more kink into this story? I want at least one instance where Holmes has some kind of seductive Join Me-speech, where he--in his particular creepy-cute way--sort of helps Watson rebuild his self-confidence by telling him how wonderful he is. Preferably this happens when Watson is still in his "FUCK YOU, HOLMES!" period.

And another question! What do we do with Mary? Lestrade will remain as a secondary character throughout the fic since he is the Token Policeman, but what about Mary? After she leaves Watson, what then? Do Watson and Holmes break into her home and steal something utterly worthless knick-knack just for the fun of it and to mess with her head? Does Watson have to fib his way out while Holmes hides himself from Mary's view, and they enjoy every minute of it?

I'm a recreational user, as you are very well aware. And really, my boy, you always have exaggerate the side-effects of cocaine.
Oh, I know, and I confess it gives me a feeling of satisfaction to see you wearing my clothing. Although I think Mrs Hudson may have come to notice it as well. What do you say, Watson, ought we to worry?

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I love to death the idea of Holmes sending the police notes. (I cannot quite accept the notion of Holmes as Jack the Ripper - I could accept Watson (http://pics.livejournal.com/warren_ellis/pic/00003y1a) as such, though. I really do think he has an untouched violent streak, the more I think about it.)

I am very nearly certain that there was a H/W fanvid to that song at some point. Or a request for one. Or it may have been on a fanmix. EITHER WAY YES. I think it is fairly hilarious to even put Watson and Britney Spears in the same paragraph, but it does rather work in this context and continues to convince me that the disparity beween at least movie!Watson and AU!Watson is not as great as I first thought. Hmm.

I looked the sequel up on IMDB and it does seem to say that he will be :(. I sincerely hope it is unfounded rumour (Hell, Jude Law isn't even on the page and he kinda should be, being Watson and everything. Although now I am thinking it would be hilarious (if a little sad) if they replaced him with someone completely different, and didn't even try to explain it. I am warped).

I love the idea of Holmes telling his new very best buddy (possibly just as Watson is starting to come around) about the horrible Woman and how much of a big ol' meany she is to poor little Holmes. And then three-way snark, obviously, because it is required.

At least one "come to the dark side, we have cookies" speech, "You could be so brilliant Watson [insert creepy face-holding], between the two of us we could bring England to her knees" at which point Watson glares and Holmes is just a little put-out by it.

The thing about Mary (in my mind) is that she is conspicous only in her absence - I have very little to base her on and thus hesitate to have her wander around. BUT that idea is not a bad one, or, y'know how Irene said she should pick herself up a sidekick, when they were snarking over Watson? What about a little moment at the end where she does and it turns out to be Mary. Except I can think of no plausible reason for this because by all accounts Mary is a fairly ordinary, boring governess. I dunno, I liked film Mary well enough but she always felt like she had no purpose except as a "no gay here" sign. But I will shut up about her.

You're right, cardiac arrest is surely only a minor inconvenience for the great Sherlock Holmes, who is quite incapable of ever making a mistake. And I should think that nothing surprises Mrs. Hudson anymore, bless her soul. She is as observant as you are and more humble to boot.

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All right, another thing to add to the list. ♥ (No, don't go there, one AU at the time, okay? I'm afraid I cannot accept Watson murdering, though. Beating people up because they deserve it, on the other hand -- hell yeah, bring on the cane!)

~~It was a fanmix.~~ It fits scarily well, doesn't it, even if it's sacrilege?
The only differences between movieverse and our AU is that our version is a bit darker ~~a lot more fucking creepy and gay~~ and the circumstances are changed; otherwise it's basically the same starting point. :D It's just, we allow our boys to adopt their darker and less "civilized" sides of their personalities!

Don't trust IMDb! Until the movie is in the theaters, or the trailer is showing on TV, it's just guesswork. I'm still holding out hope. ::crosses fingers:: (Noooo! Don't take away Hotson! D: Law and RDJ have such amazing chemistry together; to screw that up would be to shoot yourself in the foot.)

Yes! And Watson is confused and unsure what to think, and he's rather awkward while Holmes is oblivious to it and prattles on like they've known each other for years. ~~"Then she knocked me out, put a corset on me and locked me in the wardrobe. The nerve of some people, Watson!"~~

... Is it a bad thing that I actually squirmed reading Holmes' dialogue? FUCK YES THAT STAYS. With plenty of face-holding and possible hair-stroking and dark sensuous voice. Guh. "There is a power inside you, Watson, I can see it, why don't you let me unlock it? With a mind like yours, you could accomplish grand achievements." (Naturally, Watson is just a little freaked out. At the beginning.)

I'll save the Mary discussion for later, when we aren't in the midst of creating a horribly kinky H/W AU fic. ♥ I do like the idea of Irene&Mary shenanigans, I really do, but, I don't know... Like you said, there's no good reason for it. We'd have to tell a story or subplot from Irene's or Mary's POV in that case, and that's not what we're doing here, is it? Although I suppose Irene could hint at it, or something like that, during their bickering or something.

Very well. If I am such an abominable creature, why don't you just leave me and set up a detective agency with Mrs Hudson, if she's so talented and humble and sympathetic? Clearly that would be the wisest course of action.

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I wouldn't say it was a lot more gay. The film had a lot of queer and for Victorian fiction the books were pretty bad too. A little more gay. Significantly more creepy.

"Then she knocked me out, put a corset on me and locked me in the wardrobe. The nerve of some people, Watson!" - this is staying. This needs to be a part of Holmes' and Irene's odd past. I do not even care. And yes to confused and awkward Watson. "Not only is this man insane, but all of his acquaintences are as well"

"There is a power inside you, Watson, I can see it, why don't you let me unlock it? With a mind like yours, you could accomplish grand achievements." - ALSO STAYING. Squirming no doubt is a good thing.

Don't pout, it isn't fitting for a gentleman.
Whilst Mrs. Hudson has many admirable qualities, I am afraid that she would make a poor substitute for you. As you know, aesthetic considerations are important to me, and whilst I am certain she was a jewel in her heyday, I doubt she ever commanded your ethereal elegance and beauty, my friend.

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Well, our AU!'verse will at least be close enough to movieverse for me to imagine RDJ and Law playing the characters. Which they, er, might object to, seeing there will be at least one graphic sex scene? ~~Actually, I'm not sure if RDJ would so opposed to it~~

"Not only is this man insane, but all of his acquaintences are as well" - Well, really, Watson, what did you expect when you got kidnapped by an infamous crimelord? That everyone would be well-adjusted and pleasant? Pfft. (And hey, it's pretty much canon Irene has a thing for cross-dressing, so it's not too implausible? Whatever, rule of funny (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RuleOfFunny).)

ansdjkfdfdfgjgfghhhj♥ ~~When will we/you/I start writing this thing?~~

Again, I will bring up random topics concerning the fic! :D (Yes, I have finally admitted to myself that I am officially obsessed with this idea.)
Firstly, there is a fraction of a scene I would like to see, during the time when Watson grows increasingly obsessed with Holmes. Like, he and Mary are out on a walk or something like that, idly chatting, and then some stranger--walking past them, on the other side of the street, sitting down, whatever--mentions "Holmes" in a conversation with a friend, and you can guess where Watson's attention directs. Basically, I want to see Watson being monomaniac and Mary being irritated by it.
Secondly--and this is much more centred on the actual fic--should we have a prologue or start "in media res"? Like, a short prologue of some few hundred words, told in omniscent 3rd person's POV, possibly without even naming the charcters, where we see Holmes having tea with Moriarty, or something like that. Then the title of the fic is displayed in large font and the fic starts for real. The reason I bring this up is because I imagine there mmight be helpful with a prologue, just to set up the scene, so to speak; to show the audience/readers that yes, this is the same old Holmes, please don't think of him as a rabid murderer. But I don't know, maybe the element of uncertainty would benefit the fic? Any input on this? :D

Oh, a gentleman, am I? Nice to hear that I at least am one on occasion. Also, for future reference, I never have and never will pout.
Flatterer. If you think I will fall for that, you are greatly mistaken. I am still very much upset and hurt by your accusations. ~~Ethereal, you say?~~

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